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July 15, 2002

Billy G Is Not My Lover

Now don't think I worship Bill Gates or think he's the leader of the computer revolution or anything. I just like the feeling of peering in on the life of someone so rich and powerful he could own a small island nation. It's kind of like having my very own Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous outside my window (minus Robin Leach).

A few weeks ago a fellow intern and myself decided to go on a scouting mission in the building next door. It was a Saturday afternoon (don't ask why I was at work on a Saturday), and the building was practically empty. We went exploring, looking for the fabled "second pool table" in that building. We found one table, but as luck would have it, it was in use (by people who came to work for the sole purpose of playing free pool, I might add). So Wan Li and I searched floor by floor, finding nothing. We then decided to check the Forbidden Executive Floor. Pushing the elevator button sent shivers of excitement down my spine. What would we find there? What kind of pool table does Bill Gates use? A solid-gold table with ivory cues? As the elevator doors opened we were immediately greeted by a very large, very muscular security guard.

Security Guard: "Can I help you guys?"
Me: "Um.. we're... uh... just looking for a pool table."
Security Guard: "There's nothing like that on this floor."
Silence as the big man stared us down.
Me: "Well, I guess we should be off then."

I never got to see if the carpet in Bill's office really is pure cashmere, or whether or not he keeps a live caged Oompa-Loompa in his office. I guess some things were never meant for mortal man to know.

00:00 | Work

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