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May 1, 2007
Happy Loyalty Day, America!
Has it been a year already? That's right, it's that time where the President hereby proclaims May 1, Loyalty Day!
So show your loyalty by buying a magnetic flag for your back bumper! Be better aquainted with America's place in the world by eschewing a Geneva convention or two! Show your love for the free market by awarding a no-bid contract to former cronies! Demonstrate your support for democracy by voting in an election, or, if you're the President, vetoing a bill!
But most importantly, get out there and SHOP!
Remember, if you don't show your loyalty, the terrorists have won.